There is No Darkness So Great .....

"There is no darkness so great, that a greater light cannot dispel it."
​- Henry David Thoreau

​Riaan Swiegelaar was a co-founder and the lead spokesman of the Satanic Church of South Africa. In 2022, while preparing to take part in a ritual to increase the worldwide reach and power of Satan, he had - suddenly - an overwhelming, face to face experience of Jesus Christ. Here is a very short glimpse of that experience - a longer account of what's happened since, and some thoughts on the meaning of these events follow. 
 

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I saw this video yesterday on the Facebook page of a friend. There's something sensational about it because it concerns Satanism, and something important about it, because as the second video below shows, it led to things being revealed about Satanism that are usually very much kept secret.

Experiences like the initial one of Riaan Swiegelaar, however, are not completely isolated in the world. 

I was never a Satanist, but I had this experience of meeting Christ too, when I was 23 (I'm 74 now), after the extremely painful breakup of my first marriage.

In my case, I saw Christ on the cross, crucified. It was very sudden, vivid, a moment outside time, as if I was there, witnessing it personally. Christ was the most beautiful man, covered in wounds, but the most beautiful human being I could imagine. No words were said, but the love that emanated from him to me was overwhelming ; yet gentle, and I felt loved without reservation, unconditionally. I thought and felt, there is nothing in him that deserves this - and nothing I could ever do that would deserve to be loved like this. I fell to the floor, overwhelmed, grateful and weeping.

The friend who shared this video has had this experience too, and his wife as well, when she was at a complete bottom with Lyme's disease. George Ritchie described this same kind of experience in his book "Return From Tomorrow", which I hope everyone will one day read  ; and when I read the experince of Paul on his way to Damascus, it resonates completely. The exact details in any of these cases are different, but the core of them seems fully the same.

Watching this on my friend's page reminded me of my own experience - and interestingly, now again in the present, came at a moment when I actually needed it. It brought to mind that my way of reaching Christ, and his way of reaching me, have a continuity - that there is a thread in my life, a theme and a stream of life that I still live in. It reminded me that glimpses, reminders of that event also still come to me regularly through other people ; new episodes of this being loved and "seen" are still in my life, in ways great and small every day. I lose track of this relationship sometimes, but that it's always there to return to - and it evolves.

The realization is that I'm loved more than I could ever deserve. It puts my shortcomings right in front of my eyes - but also leaves me free to find my own way out of the error and dross, so each step can still be organic, real and my own.

I find myself loved unconditionally, but still responsible for what I do, how I think, subject to consequences, responsible to "pay my bills" in the world. I'm still in need of healing - but also receive healing in new ways large and small all the time. It's hard work, work of attention and mindfulness, even of trust and letting go ; but in Christ, with a chance I could never have otherwise.

Continuation 

This morning, searching for an embed code for the video above, I found this further chapter in the life of Riann Swiegelaar. It brought to mind again for me how these profound meetings, though they have core features in common, are still unique and individual for every person. They happen in the context of a whole life lived thus far - but also change intimately how it unfolds in the future. Beyond the imagination or expectations of the person him/herself, something new can enter.  

Paul, Saul as he was known before Damascus, persecuted the Christians, believing it the best, the most right and important thing to do. His mind,  gifts and whole life experience, however, had also prepared him for something else - something greater than he would ever have thought of himself, but for which he was needed. With this as a picture, consider the life of Riann Swiegelaar as it's unfolded since :