A Man I'll Never Be

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​I discovered this song just recently, but it made quite an impression on me, and I've feel a persistent impulse to share it. I'll add the lyrics below.

I've heard the saying before that a woman (at best) sees and can hold a strong image of what a man, a child or any other human being can or could BECOME ; and can mobilize incredible loyalty to that, for a very long time. That, for better or worse, this is a kind of default setting in the female human being.

I know I've experienced this, and that at different times it's been both saving, and deeply excruciating !

I also have the sense that to feel oneself "seen" - and feel wanting - is a step along the path for EVERY human being. We can fall into self hatred behind this, and if we can't find our way through it, it can take us into the abyss. One part of finding the way through is a rigorous commitment to self honesty and self development - but another unavoidable one is the love someone else, and/or God holds for us and shows us, without our ever yet deserving it. For this we can only be grateful, eternally !

Kudos here to the musicians for capturing this human dilemma surpassingly. The best pop, rock (and every other) music does that, and it's something else to be grateful for eternally ! The lyrics :

"If I said what's on my mind
You'd turn and walk away
Disappearing way back in your dreams
It's so hard to be unkind
So easy just to say
That everything is just the way it seems

You look up at me
And somewhere in your mind you see
A man I'll never be

If only I could find a way
I'd feel like I'm the man you believe I am
And it gets harder every day for me
To hide behind this dream you see
A man I'll never be

I can't get any stronger
I can't climb any higher
You'll never know just how hard I've tried
Cry a little longer
And hold a little tighter
Emotions can't be satisfied

You look up at me
And somewhere in your mind you see
A man I'll never be

If only I could find a way
I'd feel like I'm the man you believe I am
And it gets harder every day for me
To hide behind this dream you see
A man I'll never be"

                         - Boston

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